I recommended Catching Jordan to my friends and one of them was going over some funny parts of the books with me and I thought I would share some of my favourite quotes with you.
Actually it should really be my favourite chapter but that would be a serious spoiler for you guys who haven't read it so I've narrowed it down.
I'm going to say that there maybe some spoilers, I highly doubt it, but still...be warned.
1. “Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up their
Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. “No way, dude,” I say. “I’m the man in this relationship.”
“Oh yeah, absolutely,” he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fake electronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they’re staring straight into my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it’s a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry.
“Congratulations, Mommy,” I say, dropping the doll into his hands. “You could’ve told me I knocked you up.”
2.“Congratulations, Mommy,” I say, dropping the doll into his hands. “You could’ve told me I knocked you up.”
“My bad. I thought you’d force me to get an abortion,” Henry replies, taking the baby and cradling it as if it’s real. “He has your eyes, Woods.”
“And your hair.” The doll is bald. “Can we name him Joe Montana?”
“Hells no, his name is Jerry Rice.”
“No, his name is Joe Montana.”
“I was in labor with him for fourteen hours!” Henry exclaims as he rocks the baby back and forth. “His name is Jerry Rice.”
I grin. “Fine.”
3.“Shut up!” Henry says, “You’re going to wake up Jerry Rice.”
“Jerry Rice?” Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carter laugh so hard.
“Carter, would you like to be the godfather?” Henry asks. “You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?”
“Charming,” Carter says. “I’d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?”
“Obviously,” I say.
“Can I hold Jerry Rice?” JJ asks. “He’s so cute.”
“No way, man,” I reply. “I don’t want to wake that thing up before practice. We’ll be late if we have to feed it.”
“What does it eat?” Carter asks.
“I have to breast-feed, ’cause I’m the mom,” Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room.
“Actually,” I say, “It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we’re learning how to poison babies.”
“Radical,” JJ says as we approach the gym,
4.“Yo, guys,” Ty says, peering down into the stroller. “What the hell is that thing? Satan’s spawn?”
“You’d better watch it!” Henry says. He puts on a serious face, throws an arm around my shoulders, and pulls me in close. “That’s our child you’re
Ty smiles, then looks at Jerry Rice. “Its eyes are seriously creeping me out. And I knew something was going on between you two.”
“You’re right,” Henry says. “Woods is my husband, and I’m her wife.”
5. “Woods? Do you have a sec?” Ty asks.
“Alone?” Ty eyes Henry and Jerry Rice, and I jerk my head at Henry.
“Fine,” Henry says, rolling his eyes. “Divorce me if you must, Woods. I can’t believe I’ve only been married half an hour and I’m already a single parent.” Ty holds the door to the gym open so Henry can get the stroller through. I giggle at the sight of him carrying those diaper bags across the gym.
6. Henry looks from my face back to the field, and his eyes pop open wide. I turn to see why he’s gaping: JJ and Carter are messing around, trying to shove a scrawny wide receiver into Jerry Rice’s stroller.
“JJ!” Henry yells, “You can’t fit a freshman in that stroller.”
So, maybe come to think of it they might not be so funny for those who have not read the book, but for those who have...I'm sure your picturing Henry with his nose in the air pushing around that stroller talking about being a single mom, and laughing out loud.