Saturday, 13 July 2013

Quotes: Fifth Grave Past the Light by Darynda Jones

Here are some of my favourite quotes from my recent read:
 #5: Fifth Grave Past the Light by Darynda Jones (Click title for review)

As always, there is a good chance of spoilers (well maybe).

1. If god is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining

2. “I could give you a night you will never forget.”
“Because you will be writhing in agony all night and I will laugh unmercifully. It will be unforgettable.”

3. I intend to live forever, so far, so good.

4. “I have depth. I’ve read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie-The-Pooh. My bad.”

5. Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fired.

6. He had a good point. Solid. Sharp. Pointy.

7. “Prison. Break. It’s about these brothers who-”.
“I know what Prison Break is.”
“Then have you ever actually seen these boys? If you had, you would not expect me to abandon them in their time of need. I think there’s a shower scene coming up.”

8. “Life is short. Buy the shoes.”

9. I placed a hand over my heart. “Are you ashamed of me?”
I held up my palm. “Don’t hold back. I can take the truth.”

10. Who thought in slurs?

11. I am currently unsupervised. It freaks me out, too, but the possibilities are endless.

12. He quirked a brow. “How would you like your eggs?” I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. “Fertilized?”

13. “A guy in an SUV tried to kill me.”
“That’s strange.”
“Because the guy I hired doesn’t drive an SUV.”
“That is strange.” Swopes. Always the kidder.
“Wait, if someone else kills me, do you still have to pay him?”
“I think I should at least get a discount.”
“Right? There’s also a naked elderly man in my passenger seat.”
“TMI Charles.”

14. Gemma was so determined for me to deal with my PTSD, but I thought I was doing pretty well with it. We were friends now.

15. “I want you to know, I’m missing a Supernatural marathon,” Cookie said the next morning when she came over for coffee. 
“It’s for the greater good, Cook. Four out of five experts agree: Gun safety trumps an eye candy fix.”
“Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean’s existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.”

16. My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

17. “Damn it Charley, you scared me. And there is nothing wrong with your heart.”
“Yes, there is. It hurts.” I poked myself in the chest several times for dramatic effect. “Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy.”
“Do you even know what that means?”
“No, but it sounds series. Like Ebola. Or hives.”

18. “I don’t expect everything to be handed to me. Just set it down wherever.”

19. If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

20. “I’ll be at the office in fifteen. Let me know what’s on the agenda for the day.”
“Okay, but I might be hard to pin down. I have a lot of crap to stir. People to annoy. Lives to ruin.”

21. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us.

22. “Oh, no,” Gemma said in warning, “don’t ever believe that. She’ll have you painting or moving boxes or burying her neighbor before you know it.” It was like she didn’t know me at all. I would never ask him to paint.

23. Added that to the twenty million other questions I was saving for when I finally met someone in the know. Like Santa. Or, no, God! Yeah, probably God.

24. “I’m not 100 percent certain, but I think my cup of coffee just said, “You’re my bitch.”

25. “You know those kids with invisible friends? Well, I was one of those. Only I wasn’t a kid, and my friends weren’t invisible.”


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